I Just Don’t Know

There are many moments where I am just like, “really God?” I have a lot of questions that don’t seem to have a lot of answers. Or do they? We live in an age with information overload. We have a lot of knowledge but because it is coming at such a rapid pace people are short circuiting and going crazy.

There was a season I was in where everything was so uncertain, so I decided that I was okay with not knowing what was going on. I got honest with myself and as a coping mechanism if something challenging ever came my way I was straight up. I became comfortable letting people know I didn’t have an answer.

Get off my back!

This was my new slogan and I was ready to whip it out at a moments notice. My “I don’t know” eventually turned into “I don’t care.”

It never solved anything, but it made me have a place to hide in plain sight.

Where there is no vision, the people perish. (Proverbs 29:18)

My lack of understanding left me in a detrimental position. Choosing not to deal with what I didn’t know may my life a series of repeats.

My life is a result of that decision. Choosing not to decide is a decision that has repercussions. I learned the hard way that what you don’t know can definitely hurt you. Once I was given an example about a live wire. If it is sitting in a puddle of water and I step in it unknowingly doesn’t mean it won’t still shock me. The principle is to gain wisdom and understanding.

The next problem I encountered was that there were some answers I needed from people near me with experience in areas I am yet growing in. For some reason I felt like they were withholding information. Sometimes I just need to sit at the feet of a teacher and let them just talk. But no one had the time, or I was to afraid to ask for the help. Either way it was not working for me. So, I became a sermon junkie. I watch at least 20 sermons a week. They fuel me to a point but even then, I feel like something is missing. There is this strong desire in me to know…something.

I just realized my hunger is for the mind of God. I heard the most interesting thing this week. I was listening to a sermon by Dr. Myles Munroe where he preached about the Holy Spirit. He spoke on the fact that Jesus only did what was on the mind of God. The Holy Spirit is the mind of God on the inside of us. He leads us into all truth. How do I know he is leading me to all truth? Because his word bears witness to Jesus. With this nugget I have recently opened my bible and am learning to read through a new filter. I want to know what God knows. I want to get to a place where I am saying and doing what is on his mind (what is in his word) through the leading of the Holy Spirit.

The many questions I have had alone this week have been answered since I received this revelation. So, I ask God, “tell me what is on your mind today.” Through the bible I am learning God’s character and how the decisions he makes are based on the fact that he is a good father with good intentions for me. (Jeremiah 29:11)

The book of proverbs is where I started. It is like the central hub for me.

Proverbs 1

A Manual for Living

1 1-6 These are the wise sayings of Solomon,
David’s son, Israel’s king—
Written down so we’ll know how to live well and right,
to understand what life means and where it’s going;
A manual for living,
for learning what’s right and just and fair;
To teach the inexperienced the ropes
and give our young people a grasp on reality.
There’s something here also for seasoned men and women,
still a thing or two for the experienced to learn—
Fresh wisdom to probe and penetrate,
the rhymes and reasons of wise men and women.

There is something here for everything. The word of God definitely helps me to navigate the way I deal with life. The Holy Spirit will help us to live this thing out just to prove that it is possible, dare I say it, to love the life you live. To be completely satisfied in God and enjoy every good and perfect gift that comes from him.

Start with God

Start with God—the first step in learning is bowing down to God;
only fools thumb their noses at such wisdom and learning. Proverbs 1:7 MSG

The beginning of all wisdom is God. Who better to tell you how to live than the creator himself. Get to know him, seek after what he knows and in him you will find life.

“The very words that I have spoken, they are spirit and they are life… John 6:63 NLT

Right about now this is what I need. LIFE. Fresh life. Fresh perspective. The mind of the maker himself. Today I ask, “God what is the point? What is your purpose for this world you have created, and most of all where are we headed?”

Snap, I just got the answer that quick.

19 “Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live! 20 You can make this choice by loving the Lord your God, obeying him, and committing yourself firmly to him. This is the key to your life. And if you love and obey the Lord, you will live long in the land the Lord swore to give your ancestors Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.” Deuteronomy 30

All I had to do was ask!

The truth is, we have a choice. Our life is a sum total of choices, both good and bad, intentional and unintentional.

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